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BUKOWSKI “DON’T TRY” TEE
$20.00 – $22.00 Select optionsThe first of two, this Bukowski design depicts Charles’ in all his glory. The phrase below is etched into the great L.A. writer’s tombstone – “Don’t Try.” For what’s the positive way to say this double-negative, friends? “DO.” Black print on soft, white 100% cotton tee. “Made in a Sweatshop in the U.S.A.”
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CAPTAIN MERICA TEE
$20.00 – $22.00 Select optionsWhen we were kids, we were taught that Christoper Columbus was the man! Now, he’s considered to be a genocidal lunatic. My oh my, how things change… Thanks a million, Howard Zinn! But, if you still support Cristoforo’s guinea swagger, rock this FAT ENZO T-SHIT on the next Columbus Day. Hurry while the holiday still […]
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CATHOLICS VS. CONVICTS T-SHIrT (FAT ENZO EDITION)
$20.00 Select optionsYou may remember the throwback (circa 1988), or perhaps you’ve seen the 30 for 30. But, our version of the iconic “Catholics vs. Convicts” (Notre Dame vs. The U) is so much better! Updated with a fresh, new message, with top-notch screen printing on 100% high quality cotton, you can order your future ACC Champions’ […]
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CHARLIE SHEEN “SCHWINNING!” TEE
$20.00 – $22.00 Select optionsBeach cruisers are the best bikes in the world. When Bobby Pickles was living in NYC, he would ride his Schwinn to work even in the snow. Hey, you know what’s also awesome — Charlie Sheen! What if Charlie Sheen was riding a Schwinn (and rode it in a similar fashion as the Pee Wee’s […]
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CHARLIE SHEEN “THE MASHEEN” TEE
$20.00 – $22.00 Select optionsCharlie Sheen is a machine! Actually, he’s a “masheen.” Hookers and blow and AIDS can’t even stop him!!
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DON’T FUCK WITH JESUS TEE
$20.00 – $22.00 Select optionsIt should probably read, “Don’t Fuck w/ ‘the’ Jesus,” because the idea kinda sorta came from that scene in The Big Lebowski where John Turturro utters those same beautiful words. But, somewhere along the line – the concept morphed into this ridiculous scene, which takes place at the exact moment that Judas is about to […]
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DRIVE THEM OUT T-SHIRT
$20.00 – $24.00 Select optionsHave you ever been affected by Terrorism? Your flight’s been delayed at the airport and you just got frisked for a little too long and thorough, for having a beard that’s a little too long and thorough. It’s time to fight back. The POTUS said is best during his speech in Saudi Arabia – “Drive. […]
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EMOJI PENTAGRAM TEE
$20.00 – $22.00 Select optionsThe Pentagram is a symbol of a star encased in a circle, always with 5 points (one pointing upward). The upward point of the star is representative of the spirit. The other four points all represent an element; earth, air, fire, and water – which comprise us all. To wear a pentagram T-SHIT, is to […]
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EXERCISE THE 2ND, PLEAD THE 5TH | WHITE TEE FOR PATRIOTS
$25.00 – $29.00 Select optionsCalling ALL you Patriotic Americans, this one’s for you! We know what’s missing from your wardrobe: 60% Cotton/40% Poly Super Soft, White FAT ENZO T-SHIrT, depicting the Speak-No-Evil monkey, dressed as Uncle Same, and rockin’ an AR-15! Stand Thy Ground! And, NEVER Incriminate Thyself.
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FALE UNIVERSITY (FU) TEE
$20.00 – $22.00 Select optionsFAT ENZO didn’t attend college, because he’s a dog. But, he’s still our mascot despite being such a stupid bastard. Now, Yale University has a bulldog as their mascot. We’re not quite sure of Fatty’s breed, but if we were an institute of higher learning, FAT ENZO would be an unscholarly drunkard, carelessly doing keg stands […]